Remind me next year...

It seems that the closing of one chapter in life leads to some reflective moments. Tomorrow is the last day of school and I have been doing a lot of reflecting lately. Most of my thoughts have been uttered out-loud in the following way:

"Remind me next year not to..." "Remind me next year I don't want..." "Remind me next year whatever."

I guarantee that I've started a sentence this way at least 25 times in the last couple weeks. I apologize to the one person that has probably listened to all 25! Most of them, ok I'm sure all of them, were basically a criticism or complaint about the way things have gone this year at school. I'm embarrassed to admit that this school year may have even been doomed from the start - knowing in my heart when it began that there was no way it could live up to the previous one.

Like Shellee said in her blog tonight, I'd kind of like a do-over. I'd like to go back to the very first day of school and do my job the way I love to do it. I love to show that boy that he is way more important than a test score. I love to be the family for that girl whose missing one. I love to be the friend to those kids that have trouble making them on their own. I love to be the advocate for those kids that just need to know someone's got their back. I love to be the quarterback in the football game during recess. I love to do absolutely crazy things that kids don't think should be done in school!

I received a sweet note from a parent this afternoon thanking me for making such a tremendous impact on her son. Her words, not mine. As I read it several times I felt terribly guilty. I felt like she was giving me credit for something that I didn't do. I still don't really know how I ended up being a teacher, or why people keep telling me I'm a good one. But, I do know that this class has taught me way more than I could have ever taught them.

So, remind me next year to stop trying so hard, I only get the one chance.